Signs Of Ageing

pinterest.comCue music Age ain’t nothing but a number, throwing down ain’t nothing but a thang……takes me back!!! Lol! back when rnb was RnB! and just a loud reminder that I am getting older and am thankful. I remember back in primary school as I watched a girl called Alice rehearsing a poem titled signs of ageing talking about creaking bones and diminishing vision. We all laughed as she perfected her granny theatrics…It’s not as funny anymore coz well, we are all headed  there sigh

Someone once said, “Do not regret growing older,it’s a privilege denied to many”. I can recall my first encounter with premature death….Name: Anthony Age: 8 Relationship: classmate he was hit by a car, I remember staring down into the casket and seeing a big gash on his forehead a sign of the collision that ended his young promising life but I was told you never question the Lord. So I resorted to the everything happens for a reason philosophy and moved along swiftly.

Anyway, on a much lighter note, growing older is fun, That’s when you laugh at yourself, filter all the bullshit, you acquire the “ain’t nobody gat tahhhm for dat!” philosophy coz oh well, u literally ain’t got tahhhm!the sarcasm is on a level ten, you lose friends along the way and gain some worth keeping, there’s just so much more clarity to your life!! and ladies and gents I love iiit!!! To add to that, here’s a list of things that totally encapsulate my ageing process;

1.Love: You start seeing why some relationships didn’t work and how others were a total waste of tahhm! but oh no, that’s not the best part, it’s actually a good thing you got to learn some lessons so you can make the next relationship or the current one even better. You finally know what you want and most important what you deserve. You will know you are getting older when you look at yourself in the mirror and ask what it is you can bring into a relationship for the other person coz after all it takes two!

Friendships:Having gone through a throng of different friends, yea am a pimp like that! but seriously, I’ve never been one to have a group of people I call my friends just because they once gave me a life changing solution for my dandruff condition or I happened to lend you a tampon in the ladies room, friendships to me are much more than that. Just like any other relationship there has to be some sort of chemistry,some mutual interests,growth and most important of sense of humour….is yours as dark, weird and eccentric? As I grow older I realize that each of my friends play a significant and unique role in my life. It’s never the same with the other and that makes my life all the more richer. And on that note I salute the following ladies coz oh Mayyn! they are the best:

Mary: May I Lay in your bosom forever!! and laugh like we are on some second-hand pot smoking session for the rest of our lives! You get me coz we are weird together.

Yvonne: Your soul girl!!your soul!!! I have never met anyone so pure,kind and smarter! You make me want to be a better human being. I wanna build a house and live in you coz you are just that comfortable to be around.

Velma: May I announce that I have my pearl of wisdom. Did I say we been through some shit! and we survived! and you have been in your own shit and your strength though! Phenomenal woman! You keep me in check!

Pam: Gurrrl! I wouldn’t dare cross you coz you know everything!!Hahaaa! You are the one they would question if I went missing coz you’d know exactly where I’d be!

Ciku: Who else still has their nursery school friend to this day? I am one lucky lady! We have seen each other in diapers!! We have seen each other transform!!!! She’s special! it’s a gift! that’s all am going to say.

Food: Promises of eating healthier have been made and consequently broken. I have commitment issues when it comes to healthy foods. I know am not the only one who gets these cravings that make you want to ingest a big ol’ juicy chunk of red meat plus other carbs then weep later. But I have promised myself for the 16 millionth time that maybe I should take care of this body.Maybe the abs will still be visible as I turn 86.I can only imagine how I would look in that crop top and toothless smile!

Style: For me,Less is more is the way to go, think minimalism. I have always resorted to tomboy tendencies and found out it suits me just fine.After all comfort is key and as I get older I aspire to stay fuss free but I can be flexible as well if the occasion demands it I dress up and show up!

Skin: Where do I even start, Ever since my apocalypse post things have not looked up for me skin wise, it got better for a while then it became worse. Am still struggling with it. Am on coconut oil for now trying to moisturize. This adult acne will never let me be,blame the raging hormones until I find out what’s up with the system. The wrinkles are getting deeper coz the surprises increase in intensity, the laugh lines too coz I am never on resting bitch face. More dark circles on my eyes coz less sleep and bad sinus infections. The only make-up I use is eyeliner and eyeshadow, I don’t need to be piling product on my face trying to fix problems which end up worsening the condition. I hope it gets better.

Settling down and babies: OMG! if I hear one more comment about my diminishing egg supply I swearta Gaaaahhd! Leave me be people and that applies to you too family! I would love to settle down and have my own several babies but  right now am very content with cuddling other people’s babies.The fun part is getting to hand them back to their parents after an exhausting play session.How about that!? don’t get me wrong, my maternal instincts and baby fever has been on my radar for a while but my time is not yet here.When it is, I will be the one shoving my baby’s milestones in your face with every conversation.woosah

Reading: I wasn’t much into self-help books, I used to have this My problems are unique no book will even succeed in giving me answers  kind of attitude but slowly I changed my attitude and some have provided a guiding light. I learned that it’s not a bad thing to learn from other people’s mistakes and experiences. Nowadays I read not only for entertainment but for substance too.

Energy: Am not talking about kilo joules, am talking energy vis-a vis  relationships with people around me. I have no affinity for negative people who give me opinions about how am supposed to live my life without it having been solicited. If you are not my family or a trusted friend and choose to have input on my life then am sorry. I ain’t got time! literally. You might think you know me but guess what, you only know what I choose to let you know. I let you in and if you misuse that privilege cue music go now go….walk out the door, don’t turn around now coz you are not welcome anymooooore!

Finances: The F word! Something that haunts you when you see that pair of shoe that’s equivalent to the cost of a whole town and then you buy it and get home with an extra pang of buyer’s remorse but the devil in your ear whispers “well, if you are going to be broke, at least your feet look good”. Needless to say getting your money in order is a good thing but at the same time it’s important to spoil yourself and others every once in a while.

Body Image: Wishing that you looked like the next top model is a waste of time,embracing yourself and all the flaws will be much more emotionally liberating in the long run! It might be hard at times but remember you are already 20/30/40 the creation process has long since occurred and you couldn’t even choose your gene pool if you wanted to.If you look in the mirror and see ugly your insides will be spewing maggots and green gooey stuff too. Working on the insides will make you shine brighter,it will make you kinder,empathetic and accepting of those around you.

Lastly remember to age gracefully, you might wish you looked 18 or 20 with a flat tummy and a donkey booty but would you rather be as naïve and unpolished as you were back in the day too? Learn to choose your battles people! That’s why phrases like “had I known then what I know now” or much worse “If I could turn back the hands of time” get thrown around like balls in a




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